Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize