i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
