I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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