Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
