Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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