i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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