escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
