I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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