wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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