chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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