im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize