they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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