I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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