shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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