OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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