I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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