My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Are we still banned from the library?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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