FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
