loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Be still, my beating vagina.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
