Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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