Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
