you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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