It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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