....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize