Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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