Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
