I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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