I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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