No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
