He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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