Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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