Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
