shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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