Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
