walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
