I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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