Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
its liver damage thursday
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize