It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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