This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You took a bar mat shot.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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