A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
