Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
