I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
