a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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