dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
