I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
