omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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