yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize