spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
