she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.