Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to

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(281): View more from Texas

They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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(314): View more from Missouri

My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.

(585): View more from New York

I hate you.

(314): View more from Missouri

To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.

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(905): View more from Toronto

I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'

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(970): View more from Colorado

He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

(713): View more from Texas

Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

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(631): View more from New York

I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her

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