Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  Billy Mays is dead too!

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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  (352): Billy Mays is dead too! (1-352): Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs http://tfl.nu/okmt
  Replies (11) Good night (2071) Bad night (660)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

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  (405): i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college. http://tfl.nu/j0w5
  Replies (58) Good night (6358) Bad night (753)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

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  (337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm http://tfl.nu/y579
  Replies (27) Good night (7483) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  dude they were twins that means they were both only 17

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  (352): dude they were twins that means they were both only 17 http://tfl.nu/sodj
  Replies (36) Good night (5077) Bad night (1768)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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  (304): hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun http://tfl.nu/jcw4
  Replies (16) Good night (4166) Bad night (594)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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  (613): There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room. http://tfl.nu/y7ti
  Replies (17) Good night (2189) Bad night (5028)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.

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  (817): Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again. http://tfl.nu/k3cq
  Replies (20) Good night (3122) Bad night (994)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness

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  (484): 5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness http://tfl.nu/vhep
  Replies (6) Good night (1003) Bad night (3407)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I smell like Captain Morgan and tears

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  (860): I smell like Captain Morgan and tears http://tfl.nu/pqes
  Replies (11) Good night (1363) Bad night (2730)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills

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  (704): I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills http://tfl.nu/vb73
  Replies (10) Good night (1914) Bad night (617)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.

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  (413): Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night. http://tfl.nu/jhax
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (1650)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...

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  (713): I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year... http://tfl.nu/git3
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (642)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?

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  (817): How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf? http://tfl.nu/6kzv
  Replies (6) Good night (1339) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Let's drink?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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  (319): Let's drink? (1-319): Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/5wza
  Replies (5) Good night (1735) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.

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  (425): Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink. http://tfl.nu/8c1k
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (135)

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