Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke

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  (201): there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke http://tfl.nu/pyjl
  Replies (15) Good night (3139) Bad night (1186)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers

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  (404): It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers http://tfl.nu/xcf7
  Replies (3) Good night (2219) Bad night (1270)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish

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  (401): I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish http://tfl.nu/yvgk
  Replies (14) Good night (4371) Bad night (742)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.

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  (952): I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler. http://tfl.nu/21hn
  Replies (9) Good night (1873) Bad night (1098)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even

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  (317): Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night... (317): Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even http://tfl.nu/pe86
  Replies (7) Good night (2764) Bad night (697)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

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  (330): She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time. http://tfl.nu/qns1
  Replies (4) Good night (2834) Bad night (606)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  you motherfucker

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  (512): her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening" (1-512): you motherfucker http://tfl.nu/runr
  Replies (27) Good night (4268) Bad night (616)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.

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  (785): I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now. http://tfl.nu/2p17
  Replies (7) Good night (1887) Bad night (931)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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  (780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w
  Replies (24) Good night (2063) Bad night (668)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?

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  (+61): I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey? http://tfl.nu/wn19
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (451)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza

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  (484): Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza http://tfl.nu/hmnl
  Replies (0) Good night (1110) Bad night (478)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

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  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1467) Bad night (432)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  You're the salmon of the gays...

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  (574): I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual (1-574): You're the salmon of the gays... http://tfl.nu/2l6t
  Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (341)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.

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  (330): It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is. http://tfl.nu/7216
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (223)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob

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  (225): there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob http://tfl.nu/syeg
  Replies (3) Good night (172) Bad night (356)

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