Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo

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  (323): just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo http://tfl.nu/xr1e
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.

  (310): View more from California

  So you didn't like Bolt?

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  (404): Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later. (310): So you didn't like Bolt? http://tfl.nu/dqy6
  Replies (2) Good night (2925) Bad night (467)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

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  (484): I just spent $27 on things to pee on. http://tfl.nu/pmzm
  Replies (30) Good night (1374) Bad night (3717) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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  (712): He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!! http://tfl.nu/bjv4
  Replies (15) Good night (639) Bad night (5149) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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  (614): how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity. http://tfl.nu/zm0j
  Replies (19) Good night (4602) Bad night (1462)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee

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  (917): Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee http://tfl.nu/mgtx
  Replies (8) Good night (4887) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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  (570): I was literally just a half conscious dildo. http://tfl.nu/oo11
  Replies (16) Good night (4326) Bad night (1370) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

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  (253): We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this? http://tfl.nu/8b98
  Replies (7) Good night (2359) Bad night (1370) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.

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  (519): He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship. http://tfl.nu/txlk
  Replies (20) Good night (780) Bad night (3195) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.

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  (651): I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober. http://tfl.nu/gztw
  Replies (5) Good night (1356) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it

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  (503): Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it http://tfl.nu/r81k
  Replies (14) Good night (3130) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward

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  (908): he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward http://tfl.nu/i7kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1348) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister

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  (780): Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister http://tfl.nu/6uk5
  Replies (20) Good night (966) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.

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  (412): I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine. (412): Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out. http://tfl.nu/kfiz
  Replies (4) Good night (1423) Bad night (279)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.

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  (716): The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West. http://tfl.nu/935n
  Replies (6) Good night (1033) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt

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