Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

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  (703): help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help. http://tfl.nu/t5wn
  Replies (11) Good night (629) Bad night (1502)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

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  (262): Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :) http://tfl.nu/dwum
  Replies (36) Good night (10661) Bad night (919)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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  (561): i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls http://tfl.nu/2rar
  Replies (20) Good night (3391) Bad night (814)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

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  (708): Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex" http://tfl.nu/sy7y
  Replies (42) Good night (1387) Bad night (14505)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

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  (618): apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer. http://tfl.nu/ok9n
  Replies (16) Good night (4607) Bad night (1996)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.

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  (519): Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn. http://tfl.nu/jg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (1109) Bad night (2632)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all

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  (814): Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all http://tfl.nu/xfbz
  Replies (12) Good night (2867) Bad night (1029)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE

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  (267): WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE http://tfl.nu/lgwx
  Replies (7) Good night (991) Bad night (522)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.

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  (804): just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast. http://tfl.nu/1dh4
  Replies (3) Good night (1216) Bad night (496)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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  (913): "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3cka
  Replies (6) Good night (1184) Bad night (402)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.

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  (512): I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you. http://tfl.nu/8f7o
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (1032)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

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  (724): SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS http://tfl.nu/2482
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (984)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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  (734): Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life. http://tfl.nu/cgob
  Replies (3) Good night (1494) Bad night (340)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.

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  (773): I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/k0oq
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (391)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.

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  (785): After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life. http://tfl.nu/6x6s
  Replies (3) Good night (238) Bad night (432)

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