he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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