i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think i peed on brittanys purse
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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