woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
