i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
