the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
