Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
