kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize