I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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