fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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