I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
