i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
