I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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