grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
